When someone achieves something exceptional, like gets a promotion at work, finishes a project successfully, nailed a presentation or personal accomplishment that good news is sometimes met with judgment, criticism, or backlash.
Colleagues, friends, family members and in some cases, even complete strangers, may come out of the woodwork and try to make little of these positive gains. I've learnt from Doctor Linda Humphreys that the issue at play is one of projection. For those witnessing the success it may trigger feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, fear, jealousy or anger that lead to a desire to cut others down. According to Doctor Linda Humphreys, a PhD, a psychologist and life, relationship, and spirituality coach - “Their negative feelings are projected and thrust outward to their perceived object of discomfort".
Here are Six tips of how you can deal with people who try to denigrate your success.
1. Practice compassion
Toxic people are not happy within themselves or comfortable in their own skin, therefore show them compassion as they are suffering, having to deal with their negative feelings of fear, insecurity, low self esteem, low self confidence or jealousy.
2. Remove yourself from having contact with the person
Being compassionate does not mean availing yourself to being someone’s punching bag. Try to reduce interaction or remove yourself from the situation, ending contact with the person or people.
3. Do what makes you happy—no matter what
Don’t let the naysayers stop you from going after your dreams and aspirations. No matter what happens from thereon, you can be proud you followed through on your big dream.
4. Gather support
Surround yourself with amazing people who love, support, and know your strengths and weaknesses — well beyond your achievements or what you do. They can make all the difference at times when others are being unkind.
5. Don’t waste energy fighting back
When it comes to haters, critics, and toxic people, most of the time, it’s just not worth your time and effort to fight back, argue, or try to defend yourself. Instead, spend your time getting on with working toward your achievements.
6. It’s out of your control
You cannot control how others perceive you. You can only control your own thoughts and actions. Therefore, your only focus should be on developing yourself and working towards your success and sharing it with the world, regardless of what others may think or how it makes them feel.
Unfortunately, one cannot completely get rid of critics, however, there will always be the potential to surround yourself with people who love, support, and cheer you on.